A Birthday Without Them
by HaruReika
Summary: Kusanagi Izumo Birthday fan fiction. A simple birthday celebration with Homra and a coversation with Awashima.


**A Birthday Without Them**

Disclaimer: I do not own Project K.

-Narrator's POV-

"Mnn," Kusanagi groaned as his alarm clock went off. He pushed the button and the clock kept quiet. He got off from his bed and proceeded to take his clothes from the wardrobe. After that, he headed to the toilet and started to shower. When he was done, he dried himself with his towel and wore his new set of clothes. He stood in front of the sink and looked at the mirror. He combed his slightly wet hair and wore his purple-black sunglasses. He got out from the toilet and walked to his dresser. He pulled the handle of a drawer and took two cigarette box. After that, he took something from another drawer and got out from his apartment. He was about to go over to Homra Bar.

"Happy birthday Kusanagi-san!" Yata shouted cheerfully as soon as he saw Kusanagi entering the bar.

The bar was decorated with red ribbons, streamers hanging over the ceiling and balloons at the corners. There was a colourful banner with the words 'Happy Birthday.' Kusanagi knew everything was handmade. The quality of the decorations wasn't up to the standards that he sees in shops.

"We made a cake,' Anna walked towards Kusanagi while holding a medium sized cake. It had white cream as the outer layer and some random cake decorations all over the cake. There was also a badly written 'Happy Birthday' at the top of the cake.

Everyone stood behind Anna as they presented their cake which took them hours to perfect it. (According to their standards)

"I didn't knew you guys were capable of doing something like a cake,' Kusanagi commented.

"That's mean Kusanagi-san. Even we can do something like a birthday party!" Yata exclaimed.

_**A birthday without them is near meaningless...**_

"Let's start eating. I'm hungry!" Kamamoto said with a donut on his right hand and the crumbles of different kinds of donuts he ate before was on his face.

''But aren't you already eating..?" Kusanagi said.

'You bastard! The food is meant for us!" Yata shouted and started to quarrel with him.

"..." Kusanagi sighed and sat down on the sofa.

"I'm sorry,'' Anna apologised as she placed the cake down on the table.

"It's not your fault," Kusanagi said while petting on her head.

Anna clenched her fist and turned towards everyone who was stopping the fight.

"Everyone, lets sing a birthday song!" Anna shouted. She wanted Kusanagi's birthday to succeed and not for it to crumble like this when all of them had painstakingly prepared for the party.

Yata stopped and everyone started to crowd around where the cake was placed.

"1,2,3,'' Anna started.

"Happy birthday..." everyone sang and clapped. When they were done, they clapped and cheered loudly. Anna urged Kusanagi to cut the cake. He purposely gave Kamamoto the smallest piece. It was payback for eating too much party food.

Kusanagi truthfully did enjoy the party and appreciated the effort by all of them. However, without everyone present, it felt something was missing.

After eating, he took out his cigarette box from his pocket and lit up a stick. He leaned back on the sofa and turned to his right. He slowly smoked and breathed out. Everyone grew silent when they noticed something on his left ear. It shone with a certain red light.

The smell of the cigarette's smoke filled up the bar. Usually, he wouldn't let his cigarette burn for such a long time, considering Anna was there.

"I think we've partied long enough. I'll go first,'' Kusanagi pressed down his cigarette onto his ashtray. He bid farewell and left the bar.

He sighed once again and looked up. Tatara was once interested in astronomy. Whenever Kusanagi, him and Suoh left Homra at night together, he would explain what constellation was up at the sky. Kusanagi and Suoh wasn't interested in what Tatara was saying but it livened up the atmosphere. Kusanagi felt lonelier recalling that memory.

He continued walking and soon reached a place with fog clouding his vision. This place was far too familiar to him. A fog simply could not unable to reach his destination. He stepped further inside and twigs cracked. He walked straight until two grave stones were in front of him. On both of the grey stones, the Homra insignia was carved.

"Visiting them?" a familiar voice asked from behind.

"Seri-chan? Why are you here?" Kusanagi turned behind.

"It's your birthday so I wanted to wish you. It'll be weird if I went to the bar," Awashima replied.

"I see. Thank you," Kusanagi muttered and returned his focus to the graves in front of him.

Awashima frowned slightly and walked closer to him.

" Do you feel lonely without the both of them?"

"...Yea. But, Anna, Yata-chan and everyone else feels the same way as I do. It's painful but, I cant be selfish and say outright that I'm suffering. Everyone is suffering in their own way and I need to support them,"

"..Have you cried properly for them?"

"Tears wouldn't come. Maybe I don't believe they really are gone. But really, Mikoto is such an idiot. I am one too. I didn't even stop him from finding and killing the murderer. Even though I know how severe the consequences was, I let him be. I really wanted to avenge for Totsuka's death,"

Kusanagi took out another cigarette with trembling hands. He lit up and was about to smoke.

"That piercing," Awashima muttered.

With his other hand, he touched the earring on his left ear.

"For memory sake," He said and smoked.

_**I wonder if those two idiots will be fine...**_

"I once thought about committing suicide," He looked up as the smoke from his cigarette went up.

"!"

"But I can't do it. I can feel someone stopping me. Then again, I can't just leave everyone behind."

"Promise me."

"What?"

"Live and do not even try to commit suicide," Awashima made him look at her.

Kusanagi shivered at the serious glance he had from her. He couldn't handle the emotions and thoughts going on inside of him. He gulped and slowly looked back to their graves. He took a new cigarette box from his pocket and placed it on the pile of the previous cigarette boxes that was beside Suoh's grave. After that he placed an antique telescope keychain beside Tatara's grave.

He stood up straight and had his back on Awashima.

"I..." On the ground he was standing, it was damp with small drops of water. It was hard to promise her. Could he really live his days without the both of them? A lot of times he wanted to use the knife on the kitchen counter on himself. However, the faces of everyone in Homra popped into his mind.

"Maybe...I'll cry if you die," Awashima said when she saw Kusanagi's hesitance.

"..Really?"

"So, live your life fully. I'm pretty sure your family will grieve even more when you are gone. I don't think you want that to happen," Awashima said firmly.

Kusanagi pressed down his cigarette onto Suoh's ashtray. He stood up and faced Awashima.

"I'll stay strong," He replied.

Awashima smiled and offered him her handkerchief. He could see a red bean design being sewn onto the handkerchief. She told him it was her birthday present to him. He hesitantly accepted it.

"Thank you for everything. And also for this," Kusanagi said while showing her the handkerchief. He placed the handkerchief into his pocket and felt there was a piece of paper kept in the same pocket. He took the paper and unfolded it.

'Happy Birthday! We are always here for you!" was written.

~END~


End file.
